An Unusual Love for Mondays
by Chaseblaire
Summary: Naruto is in love with his math tutor, Haku. What happens when Naruto finds out her deep, dark secret? Meanwhile, Sasuke wonders what it's like to kiss a boy. Naruto/Haku, Sai/Sasuke, Itachi/Sakura, Itachi/Sasuke. Many other pairings to come. NOT femHaku.
1. Monday

Naruto loved Mondays, which was unusual. In fact, it was downright strange, considering Naruto was Teenage Boy, and Teenage Boys do not love Mondays. In fact, most people in general hate Monday's guts.

Naruto loved Mondays because that was the day Haku came over.

To be fair, Haku was paid to be there; she was Naruto's tutor. Naruto didn't mind this at all though; she was there and that was enough for him.

On this very Monday, Naruto ditched his two Best Friends (One of them was his ex-girlfriend, but that's another story) at the school gates with a yelled, "Bye, Guys!" (Almost every word out of Naruto's mouth was said at an uncomfortably loud volume), before bounding down the street toward home.

Naruto raced home, slung his backpack onto the floor by the hall and microwaved himself a bowl of ramen, which was the best food on the world. Believe it. Slurping contentedly on beef-flavored broth, Naruto waited for Haku to arrive. He didn't have to wait long.

When the door bell rang Naruto vaulted out of his seat only to find Haku had already let herself in and was toeing his carelessly thrown backpack out of her way. Skidding around the corner Naruto nearly barreled into her. "Woops," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry about that."

Why did he always screw up?

Haku smiled and Naruto practically melted. Well, not _melted_, maybe. That was a chick thing, right?

Hake brushed herself off, picking a piece of lint out of Naruto's hair. "It's fine. How was your day?"

Naruto shoved his backpack out of the way, and made his way to the kitchen counter, which doubled as a dining room-table-desk- and- everything-else, tripping over his untied shoelaces. He made a mental note to invest in Velcro. "Great! Plus…," Naruto trailed off, biting his lip to contain the grin that was trying to burst its way on to his face.

Haku glanced at him inquisitively, sliding the graphing calculator out of its case. Naruto bounced up and down on his toes. "_Plus,_ I got a B on my math on my math test."

"That's amazing, Naruto!" Haku said warmly, putting the calculator on the counter. Naruto's already blushing face turned brighter red as she pulled him into a hug.

"It's all thanks to you," He said, beaming, once they had sat down, "You're a good teacher, believe it."

"That's so sweet, Naruto." _She_ was blushing now, except it didn't make _her _look like an idiot. Naruto's heart skipped a beat; Haku was even cuter than Sakura. Thinking of Sakura made Naruto think of Ino, and speaking of Ino…

"Hey, Haku? Um, my friend Ino is throwing this party thing for her boyfriend's birthday or something," Naruto fiddled with his pen, spinning it across the countertop, "I mean, I _think_ he's still her boyfriend, Sai's kinda a weirdo. Anyway I-" His pen snapped, sending ink pooling across the counter.

Haku laughed and put a finger to his lips, effectively _shus_hing him. "I would love to go to a party with you, Naruto."

Naruto could barely contain his grin for the rest of the study session. Wait until Sasuke and Sakura heard about _this. _

_ _ _ _ _

Sasuke leaned back in his seat, arms crossed behind his head, wearing his customary Disaffected Scowl. Naruto, who sat next to him, was doodling on what was supposed to be his History homework. Sasuke leaned over to look at the drawings, desperately trying to avoid the kisses Karin was blowing at him from across the cafeteria.

Naruto's tongue was hanging out as he intently scribbled spirals and little stick figure ninjas.

"That's not half bad, Naruto." Sasuke glanced up, disinterested, to see Sai and Ino setting their trays down across the able.

"Thanks, Sai!" Naruto beamed. Sasuke snorted; couldn't Naruto tell Sai was lying through his teeth?

"Hey, Naruto," Ino said, picking at her salad, "I was thinking. You should take someone to my party. You know, to show Sakura you aren't _totally_ whipped."

Sasuke allowed himself a small smile; many others would call the expression a smirk. Sai nodded sagely and added, "You're such a pussy when it comes to Sakura, Naruto."

"Fuck you." Naruto was beet red. "I'm totally over her now."

"Good." Ino grinned in a way Sasuke could only describe as predatory. "I suggest Hinata. She's _totally _into you, you know."

"Hinata?" Naruto seemed perplexed, as if _Hinata_ was a totally foreign concept. God, Naruto was such a moron. "She doesn't like me. Besides, I'm already bringing someone. Her name is Haku and she doesn't go here. She's in _college._" He grinned, looking irritatingly smug.

"Moron," Sasuke said under his breath. He hadn't even thought that Naruto _knew_ girls out of school. That Haku person was probably an old woman or something. Sasuke stood up, dumping his mostly uneaten food in the trash. Annoyingly, nobody noticed him leave because they were too busy interrogating Naruto about that Haku girl. Nobody was too busy for _Sasuke_

Sasuke wandered his way outside where he was joined a few minutes later, to his increasing irritation, by Sai. Sai leaned against the school's brick wall, and smiled in a disturbingly sweet way. Why was he so damn _happy_ all the time?

"So, Uchiha, who are you taking to Ino's party?" Sasuke wondered that if he ignored the question long enough Sai would go away. After employing this strategy for a few minutes with no effect, Sasuke gave in with a sigh.

"No one." Sasuke muttered, patented Uchiha glare fixed on Sai.

Sai seemed unaffected, and stared at him incredulously. "_No _one. Wow, you _are_ gay, aren't you?"

Sasuke stared at Sai. "What."

"I mean, I always thought so…have you even kissed a girl?" Sasuke thought about it. He had kissed Naruto by accident in middle school, but he was pretty sure Naruto was a certified male. And, well, there hadn't been anyone since, except Itachi, but he had been about _five_. Not to mean there hadn't been propositions; Karin practically tried to rape him on a daily basis.

So Sasuke hadn't kissed a girl. But that didn't _mean_ anything. He could totally get laid if he wanted to. But the thing was Sasuke _didn't_ want to.

Oh God. Maybe he was gay.

Sai nodding sympathetically put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "It's okay, Sasuke. Sex with women isn't all it's cracked up to be. I remember the first time with Ino…"

Sasuke almost died a little inside. "You've had sex. With Ino." What the fuck? Not only did he have no experience whatsoever, _Sai _was getting laid? But now he was curious. What was kissing, not to mention sex, _like_?It seemed unhygienic and messy for the most part; not appealing at all.

"It's all just a waste of time. Besides, I doubt you're an expert."

Sai just smiled again. "Compared to you I am. But don't worry; I'm sure you're not _too_ bad in bed."

That was going too far; Sasuke's pride was wounded. He was an Uchiha, and as such was a born genius, with unparalleled skills and talents. With only restoring his bruised ego in mind, Sasuke grabbed a startled Sai and kissed him.

Kissing Sai was odd. Enjoyable, certainly, but odd. It was if Sasuke forgot that the lips against his belonged to irritating, perfect-skin, always-smiling Sai. And those lips felt _fantastic_.

Sasuke's eyes jerked open in surprise (when exactly had he closed them?) as Sai suddenly leaned in, fiercely reciprocating the kiss. Sai's tongue snaked across Sasuke's bottom lip and he shivered at the sensation. He felt Sai's hands on his stomach, hands that were sure of what they doing, unlike his own which fluttered nervously at his sides.

Sai broke away all too soon, smiling impassively. Sasuke scowled, pulse racing, hating the blush that spread across his face. "You're not _too_ bad, Uchiha, but there's definitely room for improvement."

Sasuke stared, open-mouthed and lips tingling, at Sai's retreating sickeningly chiseled back as he sauntered away.

The bell rang, and Sasuke got to his feet, glowering. This was war.

_ _ _ _ _

That night, after hours of tutoring, college-induced stress, and General Hideousness, Haku was more than ready to soak in the tub, vanilla scented bubbles and classical music included.

The last thing Haku wanted to do was explain to Naruto why he peed with the toilet seat _up_. But oh, well. That was a problem for another day.


	2. Tuesday

Itachi was worried about Sasuke. He had come home after school looking flustered and confused and headed straight for the shower. Of course, Itachi had politely not mentioned this. Even if he had, Sasuke would have bitten his head off. Metaphorically.

Itachi was rather clueless when it came to the teen psyche; he seemed to have skipped out on the painful years of puberty that the rest of the world has to suffer through. So Itachi ambled over to the bookstore one day and bought _How to Raise your Teenage Son. _He figured that _son_ could be easily substituted with _brother._

Hearing the shower still running, Itachi furtively retrieved the book from its hiding place under the sofa

cushions and flipped through it. Ah, here was something. "If your teen has been showering excessively,

it may mean he is masturbating more often." Sasuke had been in there for over a half hour. That was

certainly excessive, considering Sasuke's showers usually lasted five minutes. "This is cause by a variety

of reasons. Your teen may be experiencing a raise in hormone levels, stimulated by pornography or

sexual activity. You must prepare-"

"What are you reading?"

Itachi snapped the book shut. "Nothing." He tried to keep his tone level. When had Sasuke gotten out of the shower? He was toweling his hair, dripping all over the nice, white carpet.

"Whatever." Sasuke looked bored. "I'm going to my room; don't bother me." Sasuke left wet footprints all down the hall as he walked toward his room. Itachi opened his book again. That _sexual activity_ thing was pretty alarming.

"Itachi?" Itachi nearly jumped out of skin when Sasuke reappeared. "I'm going to a party this Saturday. Is that alright?"

A party. Everything Itachi read said they were a breeding ground for sex, drugs, and alchohol. All of Itachi's instincts were shouting at him to refuse, to make Sasuke stay home, where it was nice and safe and sex-free. Yes, no sex was nice. But Itachi's trader mouth didn't comply with his instinct's wishes.

"Sure, Sasuke." Itachi smiled widely and falsely. "Go right ahead."

"…Right." Sasuke stared at him for a second. "Thanks, _nii-san_."

Itachi waited until he heard Sasuke's door shut to stash the book under the couch pillow, breathing a sigh of relief. Then he remembered what he had read.

Was Sasuke watching _porn_ in there?

Oh_ God_.

_ _ _ _ _

Sasuke woke up to a metallic rendition of "Sexy Back". It took him a moment to remember that it was the ringtone Naruto had set himself, and another to wonder why the _hell_ Naruto was calling him at five thirty on a Tuesday morning.

Sasuke groped for his phone. "What."

"Hey, Sasuke. I was thinking." Sasuke slid out of bed, grabbing for pants as he did so.

"Oh, no. What a frightening concept." Sasuke held a pair of navy slacks up to the light. Too formal. He tossed them on the bed.

"Ha, ha. Frickin' _hilarious_. Seriously, man. You were acting really weird yesterday after lunch. Did something happen?"

"You couldn't tell me this at school today because…?" Sasuke pulled on a pair of tight black jeans, gazing at himself in the mirror. Yeah, he was hot. This would serve Sai right. Not that he was trying to impress Sai, or anything.

"I don't know. Did something happen with Sai?"

Sasuke scowled. Naruto was probably the dumbest person on earth; how could he suspect anything?

"No. I'm hanging up."

"'K, bye."

Sasuke took several deep breaths, trying to quell the _kill Naruto_ thoughts, as he walked, still shirtless, into the living room. Itachi was reading the newspaper and nearly choked on his coffee when he saw Sasuke. Why was Sasuke surrounded by morons? "Good morning, _nii-san_."

"Hn." Sasuke wondered why Itachi was being so weird. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen Sasuke naked before. But had Sasuke ever seen _Itachi _naked? He wasn't sure. Seeing Itachi naked wouldn't exactly be unpleasant; quite the opposite actually .Come to think of it, what would _kissing_ Itachi be like? Sasuke found himself staring at Itachi's lips.

Sasuke imagined taking a bath with Itachi, like they used to when they were little. Mmm, Itachi all naked and wet and-

Oh god. He wasn't just gay, he was in to incest. What on earth was next?

_ _ _ _ _

Haku's phone buzzed. "Sorry," he murmured Zabuza, who stopped quizzing him on physiology. Zabuza shrugged, motioning to the waitress for another cup of coffee while Haku flicked his phone open. _New text from Naruto!_

_Want 2 get lunch ? ?_

"Who is it?" Zabuza craned his head over, trying to read the message. Haku smiled.

"Naruto." _Aren't you at school? _

"The Monday kid?" Zabuza snorted. "I don't know what you see in him. He's loud and obnoxious."

Haku shrugged. Naruto was sweet; besides, it wasn't every day you met someone as refreshingly straightforward as Naruto. But Zabuza wouldn't understand that so Haku didn't say anything.

_Ill ditch ;)_

God, could Naruto get any more adorable? But Haku didn't want to be a bad influence. He really should turn the offer down, but somehow found himself typing in: _Sounds good, meet you at the school gates. _ Zabuza read the text, lips tight with disapproval and said, "Hey, Haku. Does he _know_?" At Haku's shake of the head, Zabuza sucked in his breath. "That's bad, 'ku. What's he going to do when he finds out?"

"_You _didn't have a heart attack when I told you I was a man," Haku pointed out.

"Yeah, but not all guys are as great as I am." Haku rolled his eyes affectionately, giving Zabuza a kiss on the cheek.

"You know I love you, 'Za, but I want to have fun with Naruto. That's all." Zabuza raised his eyebrows.

"Just be careful, Haku. You know I worry."

_ _ _ _ _

"Where _were _you yesterday?"

Sakura shaded her eyes, glancing up at her sort-of-sometimes best friend. Ino stood, hands on hips, blocking Sakura's sun. Behind her, Naruto and Lee were involved in some sort of ridiculous basketball-dodgeball type game, which seemed to involve a lot of yelling. Boys.

"Dentist appointment." Sakura stretched out her legs, alarmed at how white they glowed in the sun. She should really invest in some tanning oil or something like that.

"Oh. Well you missed a _lot_." Ino sat down next to Sakura, absently shredding little bits of grass as she spoke, "Naruto's taking some girl named Haku to my party. You know, the party _everyone's _talking about."

Sakura laughed. "Naruto doesn't know any girls. None that would go out with him, anyway."

Ino sprinkled grass into Sakura's lap, wrinkling her nose in a way that nose guys found irresistible and Sakura though was annoying. "Except Hinata."

Sakura shrugged, annoyed, and brushed blades of grass off her skirt. They left little greenish smears on the pink fabric. "Whatever," she said, "Naruto doesn't like her at all. Where is he anyway?"

Ino smirked and said, "He's with Haku; she came met him at the gate. She's pretty cute. You know, dark eyes, pale skin, the _works_." Sakura scowled. It's not like she cared, or anything.

"I'm going to find Sai," Ino announced, "He left at lunch yesterday, too. If I were you," she added, turning, "I would invest in some bronzer. _Seriously_."

Sakura glared at Ino's retreating back. What a bitch. Her legs weren't _that _pasty. And what was all that about Naruto and that Haku girl? He was probably just using her to make Sakura jealous; how childish. Well, two could play at that game.

Sakura would find an incredibly hot, older guy to take to Ino's party, a guy that all the other girls wanted. Not Sasuke; he would never agree to the plan, but someone better. Older. More mature. Someone like…

Sasuke's brother, Itachi.


End file.
